Tina Robbins

Yesterday at work everybody had something to say about Suzy. Apparently, Treem's convinced her to follow us back home. She's a student of the FIT (I'm impressed!) and taking a time off from school. Hence, hanging out with the surfers - since they all do nothing but take a time out!

This younger guy, his name is Nadzri - 'but people call me yee' - and me had something going on too, you could say. Treem thought it was funny, that I'd just gotten out of a very tumultous relationship and jumped ship on a younger man's boat. He was forever making awful remarks when we joined him, stuff like, "Let's treat our women with drinks. Oh fuck, you have to be 21 to be legal." Thank god it was just a casual fling or else I'd be really offended.

Anyway this yee guy - he was a goner right away. Maybe that's why I wanted him. I wanted a mindless gateway and that's what I got. Can you imagine being as young as yee - 20 and not having a direction in life? I don't know what younger girls are made of these days but I surely hope that they're made of money coz let's face it, these guys aren't going to support you anyhow.

Fuck. The roomate's calling me and I have to go.

Waves

This is a quick update. I am at the East Coast with my ever so loyal hairstylist cum friend cum boss for a quick weekend gateway - each for his/her own. I've been dreaming of a nice surf session and told Treem all about it and he decided to follow to see if he can pick up chicks on the way. 6 hours later and a hotel room check-in, Suzy appeared. Nice Chinese girl.

I met a couple of people I knew briefly last year, hung out with chief or fondly known as Papa Reggae to a lot of young people. I met this group of boys in their early twenties (actually, all of them are 20) and one of them gave me the dibs. I like younger guys. Always have.

I burned my ex-boyfriend's picture with a lighter. It was fine and I'm getting along and of course I miss him, but I don't need to see his picture and get all sad.

I'm starting to burn. I've NEVER burn in my entire life. I must be getting old. I looked at those boys and I'm dying to be 19 again.

Going back late tomorrow.

KAtuu

I was just thinking, if meteorites crashed on Earth and the byproducts are lakes... are those lakes extraterrestrials?

I read a cool book that I've had since ages about aliens and it turned out that there's this one lake in Chile, high up in the Andes that was believed to be created by a meteor crash, a meteor that is believed to have come from the fifth planet.

In the present state, the fifth planet from the sun is Jupiter, but between Mars and Jupiter is an asteroid belt. The author is wildly postulating, but he wrote that the asteroid belt is what remained of the original fifth planet, before it exploded about ten thousand years ago and send a couple of good sized rocks on Earth.

Scientists vetoed the idea, saying that the base of the lake is highly magnetized, making it possible for any living things to evolve.

But what if the entire fifth planet is magnetized? And its organism are in fact, alive in the lake? It is said that even until now, there is no evidence of living things (on this planet) to be found in the lake. No fishes, nothing.

Interesting ey?

Treem was annoyed that I chose to read the book during my time at his barbershop. If given a choice, I'd wanted to set the book aside on a cutomer's lap and read it while I shampoo, but that'll get me fired.

The job's okay. I get paid by cash ever Sunday so it is more than good. My boyfriend is still in town. He has another production gig in two weeks time.

December is coming to a close. Last night it rained. We sat huddled under a warm blanket at the balcony of his apartment, looking out at Klang Valley nightlife. I said, "What's the most important thing you feel you have to do before 2004 goes?" and he said, "Breaking up."

I didn't probe him. My silence was a nod of my head, and instictively we both knew what was coming. Even at 19, I never wanted a relationship or a commitment of any kind. Now a couple of years later, I still feel the same. I have a lot of things to achieve, and I'm still too godamned young to be tied to anyone.

The candles on the bedside table burned out not soon after, but it was hot and heavy all through the night.

vertigo lust

I haven't been able to write in here because I can't bring myself to.

The past few weeks have been wild. I mean that in the emotional sense. My boyfriend finally comes back from his production job and we got to spend some time together. Remember, this is the one that I had doubts about.

I arrived back home to find a nice bouquet of blue roses on the table where my housemate likes to eat her Maggi Kari while talking to her boyfriend. I was suprised, not because he wasn't the type to give flowers, but because I was the type that don't like romantic sentiments, and he knows it. But I reacted the way any other girl would.

I lifted the flowers up and sniffed them. They smelled lovely.

He came back last last Friday. We spend the weekends eating in and playing Xbox, where he beats me in everyone of his ridiculously stupid man games. I treated him to a nice face mask.

We didn't have sex. Although we could have. But the topic didn't come up. I wondered if he was getting some back where he works. I heard that things can get pretty wild in some production house. Being stuck with the same hot chicks day in and out. You'd have to be crazy not to be getting some pussy.

I wondered was it because of my refusal ages ago. I am a self-described prude, and yes they still exist and they are still living it out loud. It happened when I was at high school and was arguing with a friend about the values of a relationship when there's no sex involved, and had gotten so heated. A relationship can survive without sex, at least, until you're married. I believe in my religion, and just because I decided to wait doesn't make me any less of a typical modern KL girls.

I think the whole world's gotten crazy. Nowadays it's a blasphemy if you don't have makeout sessions or don't take illegal substances or drink and drive. No wonder people in religion are getting their brains fried. Especially the Arabs. You can painfully see their confusion.

Anyway, I don't do drugs or drink because I think it's not necessary. I don't get people who does, but I'm not vocal about it. I don't have sex because I value mental orgasm than anything else. But I still watch porn and have sexy conversations with my boyfriend. I think he took it real hard when I refused that night.

I was wearing a fucking Big Bird underwear.

Anyway on a Wednesday night we went out and had dinner and I suddenly felt horny. I haven't seen him for ages, and with all my doubts about the relationship it adds up to this whole lust. In the car in front of my house I gave him the biggest hickey ever. I'd never done that. In fact, kissing to us is special like the President's Birthday. I didn't know what hit me. He smelled wonderful and I love how hard his chest muscles get when I'm breathing down his neck.

As I got out of the car, I think I definitely did it because he was getting some sex at work. That'll do him.

nwhat's this?

Hung out with my hairdresser yesterday. Actually, he cuts my hair and I love him because he's actually a fledgling DJ, and a closet rocker poet. He writes cool haikus about ripped hearts and asshole girlfriends, and I love his tattoos.

We sat at the edge of the building smoking, waiting for our movie to start. He touched my ends. "Hey your mullet's looking cool."

"Yeah well, you know to whom I'm grateful for." He gave me my mullet.
He smiled, "I know. You're welcome."

My hairdresser has big curly hair that's so famous nowadays and a nice tattoo on his skinny bicep. He just broke up with his girlfriend (Swanda from Switzerland) about two weeks ago and he's burned. Personally I think Swanda's not interested in his journey as a DJ. I don't either. There's nothing more depressing than being a DJ. I hate electronica and those jinjangs beat. They're so... all over.

But he's helping me to get a job. Nothing much, just helping him around at his barbershop. I wouldn't want to be a shampoo girl, so he says sweeping the floor and arranging magazines and getting bottled water would be nice. I'm cool with it. Eventhough I still have to pay for my own haircut. But at least he's giving me a divine 'do and I'm getting paid.

"How are you holding up?" I ask.
He shrugs. His hand makes a so-so motion. "I'm doing fine. It comes sometimes, it goes most of the time.
I pat him on the back. "That's my boy. You be strong now okay?"

Our movie will start in five minutes. We lean against the ledge in a calm silence, both looking out at the Surf Pool, our thoughts drifting in opposite ways. I think how coold it is for me to be hanging out with a guy who does my hair, and be able to share a smoke, and I feel so content right now.

I like moments like these. I hope it happens often.