between sunrise and sunset

I am not dating anyone. And for that, I am lonely. Daniel Johns sang, "I don't want be lonely. I just want to be alone," and I wish I could echo that. But I am lonely and I don't want to be alone. Not right now.

Oh you aching heart. What's a warm body? What does it mean by 'dry spell'? Lack of fucking? What's the difference between making love, having sex and fucking?

"It's easy!" he says, jumping up and down on the bed, his body blocking and unblocking the sun's path to my face. "Fucking is uninhibited sex that carries no emotional pressure, almost to the point of brashness. Having sex is intercourse for two pencil-necked college professors who dine using forks and spoons. And making love is," he bends down, cups my face with his right hand and, ever so gently, burps.

I yelp, push him away. He giggles, high. "That's making love. Knowing that someone loves you enough to sample his ugly morning breath!" He shouts and makes an entrance to the bathroom.

Reveries like that are fatal and harmful. I miss all the guys I've been with, but I've never missed anyone enough as much as him. He was perfect in all the right portions - just charming enough, just cute enough, and extremely smart.

I'm burdened with work. And I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and I miss my girls. things are changing, and they are changing for good.

I need a man right now. Sometimes I just do, to help me go through all these changes. A man is a wonderful thing. They help give you strength whenever possible.