Ghost yesterday
A few days ago I bumped into someone I never thought I would see again. Wearing a black v-neck sweaterwith torn jeans, that person was a picture of perfection. I was shell-shocked, but I managed to muster upa smile and a friendly, "Hey, how are you?"
Her eyes travelled up to meet my eyes. Ever the petite person, she was still someone that couldintimidate you. I've yet met another person who can outclass her strong fiery gaze. Bitches usually have that kind of eyes. Those unforgiving stares.
"Hi," she said slowly, a smile half-formed on her face. People were milling around us, we were at thisrestaurant that I usually frequent. But I'm a student here, I go to this restaurant like everyday. What was she doing there? I noticed a guy lagging behind us, and realized that she was with a company. "What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping that she doesn't notice my discomfort.
"Oh I'm just visiting my friends. Didn't expect to bump into you, of all places, here," she said. The dude stood there, not doing anything. And she wasn't about to introduce us either, from the look of it. I could sense the akwardness of the situation, so I excused myself. Glad to.
As I walked towards my friends, I fought the impulse to turn around and give her the last look. Was that her boyfriend? What happened to - erh - I'm not going to mention his name. Not when she's around the area, eventhough she can't hear my thoughts out loud but I just felt guilty and awful saying his name.
You see, they've been going out for almost a year when I got into the picture. But that's not how it was actually. I was always in the picture. We were friends even before she came along. I admit that I've nursed this crush on him, but that's normal. He was funny, he reads books, and he has the nicest pair of legs. When she came we were on the verge of confessing, right there. Then he saw her. Fuck, I always thought, why did we have to go to that stupid party?
But he liked me too. He liked her a lot, a lot. But maybe there was just something about me that he couldn't get with her. Maybe it was the fact that he had her, and he doesn't have me. Maybe he just like the fucking challenge, the tease. Maybe he's a twat. But I acknowledged all the maybes, once, and didn't think about them again. I wanted him. I got him.
Turned out it's not as easy as that. She was devastated when she found out. And the worst thing was that she cried in front of me. I'd gladly have her swing her fist at me, or call me names or get her posse to give me nightmares for the rest of my life. But she cried. The heart-wrenching ones I really couldn't stand because I'm a soft-core person. I wanted to kill myself.
And I stopped talking to him. Didn't answer his calls, avoided him whenever I could, didn't give him no space for explanation or confrontation, didn't give myself the chance to lash out to him or whatever. Because it wasn't all his fault. I was the cocktease. And I sure as hell avoided her like crazy too.
Until last Friday.
Her eyes travelled up to meet my eyes. Ever the petite person, she was still someone that couldintimidate you. I've yet met another person who can outclass her strong fiery gaze. Bitches usually have that kind of eyes. Those unforgiving stares.
"Hi," she said slowly, a smile half-formed on her face. People were milling around us, we were at thisrestaurant that I usually frequent. But I'm a student here, I go to this restaurant like everyday. What was she doing there? I noticed a guy lagging behind us, and realized that she was with a company. "What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping that she doesn't notice my discomfort.
"Oh I'm just visiting my friends. Didn't expect to bump into you, of all places, here," she said. The dude stood there, not doing anything. And she wasn't about to introduce us either, from the look of it. I could sense the akwardness of the situation, so I excused myself. Glad to.
As I walked towards my friends, I fought the impulse to turn around and give her the last look. Was that her boyfriend? What happened to - erh - I'm not going to mention his name. Not when she's around the area, eventhough she can't hear my thoughts out loud but I just felt guilty and awful saying his name.
You see, they've been going out for almost a year when I got into the picture. But that's not how it was actually. I was always in the picture. We were friends even before she came along. I admit that I've nursed this crush on him, but that's normal. He was funny, he reads books, and he has the nicest pair of legs. When she came we were on the verge of confessing, right there. Then he saw her. Fuck, I always thought, why did we have to go to that stupid party?
But he liked me too. He liked her a lot, a lot. But maybe there was just something about me that he couldn't get with her. Maybe it was the fact that he had her, and he doesn't have me. Maybe he just like the fucking challenge, the tease. Maybe he's a twat. But I acknowledged all the maybes, once, and didn't think about them again. I wanted him. I got him.
Turned out it's not as easy as that. She was devastated when she found out. And the worst thing was that she cried in front of me. I'd gladly have her swing her fist at me, or call me names or get her posse to give me nightmares for the rest of my life. But she cried. The heart-wrenching ones I really couldn't stand because I'm a soft-core person. I wanted to kill myself.
And I stopped talking to him. Didn't answer his calls, avoided him whenever I could, didn't give him no space for explanation or confrontation, didn't give myself the chance to lash out to him or whatever. Because it wasn't all his fault. I was the cocktease. And I sure as hell avoided her like crazy too.
Until last Friday.
posted by tolldoll at 1:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home